Yesterday I woke up feeling tired and irritable. It’s
nothing new: I’m not sleeping well and often feel that way first thing. The
last few weeks I’ve also felt very down and although I’ve been practicing
mindfulness for some time now, I don’t often remember to actually do it. Or by
the time I really need it, I’m not in much of a mood to do anything! So I
decided yesterday to walk mindfully to the train station. I live about a mile
from the station and have about a twenty minute walk each morning. Normally, I
listen to the Radio or Spotify or a podcast. Yesterday, I did none of those
things.
My mindfulness teacher often talks about mindful walking,
but I’ve never really done it before. I’m always in a rush to get somewhere, or
when I do go out just for the joy of walking, I’m usually with my husband. So
yesterday morning I set off on a quest – to pay attention on purpose to
everything. I waited until I crossed the main road at the end of my street
(because no one wants to get mindfully run over) and then put on my mindfulness
hat.
I noticed the air against my face. It was a crisp morning
and every so often I felt a small gust of cold wind against my skin. For just a
second, and then it was gone. I noticed the way my feet felt against the ground
and the ‘clip clop’ of my shoes as they touched down on the pavement. I noticed
the way my body moved, and felt gratitude towards my legs for supporting me. I
noticed my thoughts come and go. I noticed the way that I felt and accepted
those feelings.
After a while, my mind was no longer full of the ‘what if’s
and ‘why not’s. Instead it was focused on the scenery around me. I’d never
known the name of the streets I wandered down every day – now I paid attention to
the street signs. What I once thought was an just an ugly grey terrace, in fact, housed a
beautiful red leafed tree. In fact, two trees (there once had been three, but
now only two and a stump.) Birds rustled in the bushes; a cat crossed my path
(let’s be honest, I’d have noticed the cat on any given day, but this time I
didn’t pounce on it and try and make friends, I just appreciated its beautiful
soft fur and walked on by.)
By the time I arrived at the station, twenty minutes later,
I felt happy. I felt free. Free of the worries that had haunted me for weeks.
Free of the anxiety that had caused my chest tightness only an hour before. I
hadn’t missed the radio. I certainly hadn’t missed the thoughts. And for the
rest of the morning, I felt relaxed. It didn’t last of course. Mindfulness is
not a miracle cure. It can’t bring you good health or wealth. But it
can bring you contentment, even if only for a little while.
