Thursday 11th May
Just when I thought I was getting better, things have gotten
a whole lot worse. I woke up this morning with my heart absolutely racing.
Despite sleeping well for the last few nights, I am exhausted. I barely have
the energy to get up and down the stairs. I tried to sit outside in the garden
today and read a magazine but lasted about 15mins. I can’t focus on anything. I
think the depression has set in now. I feel so numb.
I am frustrated because I desperately want to get better but
I don’t know how and I can’t seem to find anyone that can help me. The
medication is making me feel so shit that I don’t know whether it’s worth it. I
barely recognise myself. I think about the person I used to be and it makes me
so sad. This condition is affecting every part of my life – my work, my marriage,
my friendships, my health. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry, short entry today. Feeling too tired and hopeless for
this.
Ps I didn’t make the dentist.
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