I stand with all women

I wasn’t sure whether to write this. Firstly, through fear of it being a tad too ‘topical’ and secondly, because I don’t consider myself to be a blogger or Instagrammer, and therefore maybe, I thought, I don’t have a right to an opinion? After mulling it over for a couple of days, I decided that although I may not be an ‘influencer’ (I bloody hate that term), I do write a blog and I do have an Instagram account, so by definition I guess, I am both a blogger and am Instagrammer. Sadly, both are getting a bit of a bad press at the moment, for all the wrong reasons.

As with a lot of online drama these days, it started off with some trolling on Mumsnet. Someone wrote some terrible things about someone else and that someone then went off on one on their Instagram stories. Within 24 hours, Instagram had blew up.

I want to start by saying that it’s never okay to troll or bully someone online (or ever, actually.) Especially on a site where you can remain anonymous. We all know that things are said behind the mask of a username that would never be said in person. Singling out someone, a Mother, and then questioning their parenting, is a beyond shitty thing to do.  It’s pretty disgusting and I don’t think anyone would deny that.

But that’s where my sympathies end, and I’ll tell you why.

1)      When you spend your days voicing your political biases on Instagram, you have to then be accepting of others. You can’t just call then a c*nt for having different political beliefs. When you alienate a whole section of society, you undermine the message you are trying to put across. 

2)      Women should champion other women. When I see someone who’s made a success of their lives, I want to high five them, not upload a series of stories mocking them for ‘working bloody hard.’ There is nothing wrong with working hard and reaping the rewards that hard work brings. I appreciate that working hard in itself does not always result in a nice life, but if it does, then you shouldn’t be ashamed of that or mocked for it.

3)      Women can be successful in their own right and no one should ever infer otherwise. I read a very sad comment on an Instagram post that said 99% of ‘mummy bloggers’ were one divorce away from living in poverty. And that’s both insulting and not true. I’m sure many of the women who make a living from social media earn more than their husbands/partners and would manage just fine without their salaries. We no longer live in a society (thank goodness) where men are always the primary earners.  And regardless of their household finances, it’s not okay to meet sweeping assumptions about people.

4)      You can’t just scream ‘classism’ every time you hear something online that you don’t like. Without knowing people ‘in the real world’ and knowing them well, you have no idea about their background. My Instagram feed would probably suggest I come from a middle class family, but I was raised by a single Mum, and laterally a grandparent. My feed only shows you what I want you to see. They'e just squares with pretty pictures. Anyway, not all middle class people are bad people.

5)      You can shout ‘cuts’ and ‘social cleansing’ from the rooftops, but if you have a platform, I believe you have a duty to use that platform for good, and this sort of vague political rhetoric that I hear does nothing to highlight the real issues. All it does is encourage a culture of hate, with women pitting against other women. This must stop.

I did work bloody hard. I paid my way through University, working every hour I could from the age of 16 to support myself. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. It was only a few years ago that I started earning a decent wage (not a large wage) after years of studying and exams. And I’m proud of that. I won’t let anyone make me feel like shit for making a success of my life. In the same way that I would never judge anyone that's struggling. We all take different paths in live. We all make different choices. We all have different luck. Let’s celebrate our differences, champion our successes and be there for one another when the shit hits. I stand with all women. Enough of the hate.