Music is ... A higher revelation than all Wisdom & Philosophy...

...said Beethoven. I love music and I’m not one of those music snobs either – I love the odd cheesy tune! But what I cannot stand is ridiculous lyrics. Here are a few of my favourites.

 

“I could probably make it out of any situation that you try to put me in to. If I swim with the piranhas guaranteed that I’mma probably have a fish dinner. “– Jessie J, Wild

 

WHAT!! First of all, since when was ‘I’mma’ a word? Secondly, how is this guy going to avoid getting eaten by piranhas and how can he possibly have a fish dinner without brown sauce? Madness.

 

 

“A gentleman is so 1995, so hard for a girl to find. A real husband is so 1999, so hard for a girl to find. ” – The Saturdays, Gentlemen

 

Did something happen in 1995 that I’m not privy to? Hmm let me think…Bridget Jones’ Diary was published…Middlesborough FC moved into their new stadium…The Queen Mother had a hip replacement….nope, nothing to do with gentlemen whatsoever. Nonsense. Furthermore, the Saturday girls spend three minutes singing about how much they want to find a gentlemen and then exclaim ‘I need a Kanye. He’s not a gentleman but I’d have him anyway.’ So basically the moral of the song is completely redundant. Shame on you girls.

 

 

“Are we human, or are we dancers.” The Killers, Human

 

Why Dancers? Why not actors, or scientists or dinner ladies? Google ‘what is ‘Human’ about and you’ll get some cracking answers from die hard Brendan fans trying to give some justification to this piece of garbage. One fan claims ‘Brandon Flowers, the lead-singer of The Killers, has said that the song is a mild-political statement inspired by a quote by journalist Hunter S. Thompson that "America is rasing a generation of dancers”. I think the song is generally about today's generation losing their morals, prioritising irresponsibly and conforming.’ Well obviously. Why didn’t I think of that?  

 

I'm sure Beethoven's turning in his grave.